50g of assorted fruit-flavoured jelly beans, in a sealed inner bag. That's it. There's no medication, no supplement, no vitamin and no active ingredient of any kind. The box is the joke; the sweets are the payoff.

Made up, filled and ready to gift. A lot of joke pill boxes on the market turn up as flat card that you assemble yourself and then fill with sweets you've bought separately. Ours don't. You order it, it arrives, you hand it over.

We'd love to hear it. Half our range started with someone describing a colleague, a mate or a family member in unrepeatable terms, and quite a few of the best ones came from customers rather than us. If you've thought of a condition the world needs a cure for, email info@banterbiotics.com or use our contact form. We read every one, and if yours makes it onto a box we'll make sure you're the first to know.

Yes — get in touch. Every box already has a blank space on the front where you can write the patient's name in your best (or worst) doctor's handwriting, which completes the gag nicely. But if you want something properly bespoke — a custom name, your own condition, your branding on the packaging — we design and print our own boxes, so we can usually make it happen. Send us your idea through our contact form or email info@banterbiotics.com and we'll come back to you with a quote. Weddings, stag and hen dos, work leaving gifts, sports clubs and corporate orders are all things we've been asked about, and none of them scare us.

They're a parody of the general shape of pharmaceutical naming — the -amol, -cillin, -adine sort of thing — rather than of any specific medicine or brand. Banterbiotics isn't affiliated with, endorsed by or connected to any pharmaceutical company. Any resemblance to a real product is deliberate parody and nothing more.

The jelly beans themselves don't contain nuts, but they are packed in a factory that also handles milk, soya, cereals containing gluten, peanuts and other nuts, eggs, sesame and sulphites. If you or the person you're buying for has a nut allergy, please don't buy these. Full ingredient, allergen and nutritional information is listed on every product page and on the packaging itself.

No. Our jelly beans use shellac (E904) as a glazing agent. They are, however, gelatine-free, so they're suitable for vegetarians. Full ingredient information is listed on every product page and on the packaging.

Each box measures approximately 114x70x25mm — about the size of a real prescription pack from the pharmacy. Small enough for a stocking or a gift bag, big enough to be recognised as a medicine box from across the room.

Yes. Every box carries a best-before date on the pillow pack packaging, typically around 6 months from dispatch. Store them somewhere cool and dry, out of direct sunlight.

Standard Tracked delivery is £2.99 and arrives in 2–3 working days. Next Day Tracked is £4.99 and arrives the next working day if you order before 4pm. Everything we send is fully tracked, so you'll always know where it is.

Sometimes. Depending on which carrier handles your parcel, it may well land on a Sunday — a pleasant surprise, but not something we can promise in advance.

You can. Just change the delivery address at checkout. Do double-check it before you pay, because we can't redirect a parcel once it's gone, and explaining that mix-up is a conversation nobody wants.

Yes. Everything is posted in plain outer packaging with nothing on the outside to give away what's inside. Your postman remains blissfully unaware, and the surprise stays intact until the box is opened.

Not at the moment. Every order arrives in a plain, unbranded card mailer with nothing on the outside to give the game away — so if you're sending it straight to the recipient, they'll open it themselves and get the full effect. The box itself is designed to be handed over as-is; wrapping it rather defeats the moment where they think they've been given actual medication.

Not yet. We currently deliver anywhere in the UK, including the Scottish Highlands and Islands, Northern Ireland, the Channel Islands, the Isle of Man and BFPO addresses. International shipping is on the list — if you're overseas and desperate to diagnose someone, email info@banterbiotics.com and we'll let you know when we can help.

We pack and post six days a week, Monday to Saturday. Order Next Day before 4pm and it goes out the same day.

Spend over £10 and standard tracked delivery is on us. Which, conveniently, is roughly the point at which you remember someone else who needs medicating.

No, though a fair few are. The range splits into two rough tiers: the ones you could hand to your mother-in-law, and the ones you definitely couldn't. Oldfartofen and AntiOldGitamol sit at the gentler end. ProperCuntamol, Twat-adine and Lixalottacox very much do not. Every product page tells you which you're dealing with before you buy.

Oldfartofen and AntiOldGitamol. Both land the joke without a single swear word, which makes them the safe choice for grandparents, colleagues you don't know well, and anyone whose reaction you can't confidently predict.

Honestly? Depends entirely on who you're giving it to. The joke works because it's specific — the right box handed to the right person is the funniest gift they'll get all year, and the wrong box handed to the wrong person is an awkward afternoon. We've written a note on every rude product page telling you exactly who it's for and who it isn't. Read it. We'd genuinely rather you bought the mild one than a box that lands badly.

No. Beyond the language, the packaging is deliberately designed to look like real medicine, so we'd ask you to keep them well out of reach of young children. They also contain small sweets, which aren't suitable for under-threes.

Yes, and we'd be glad to hear from you. We supply gift shops, card shops, garden centres, farm shops, pubs and online retailers. Everything you need is on our Wholesale & Bespoke page, or email btb@banterbiotics.com and we'll send over trade pricing and the full range sheet.

We can. We design and print our own boxes, so we can create something specific to you — your own condition, your own joke, your own branding. It works well for events, staff gifts, clubs, stag and hen suppliers, and retailers who want a line nobody else can stock. Tell us what you're after and we'll tell you whether it's possible. Usually it is.

Yes. If you'd rather fill them yourself — your sweets, your products, your hamper components — we can supply the printed boxes flat. It's a popular option with hamper makers, sweet shops and event companies.

You have 14 days from delivery to cancel your order under the Consumer Contracts Regulations 2013, plus our own 30-day returns window on top. Because we sell food, the inner sealed bag must be unopened and intact. Get in touch before sending anything back — we can't process returns we aren't expecting. Full details are on our Returns & Refunds page.

Email info@banterbiotics.com with your order number and a photo, and we'll sort a replacement or a refund. We cover return postage on anything faulty, damaged or sent in error.

Check your tracking link first. If it's genuinely gone astray, email us with your order number and we'll chase it. Royal Mail don't consider an item lost until 10 working days after the due date, so we may need to wait that out before replacing or refunding — but we'll keep you posted either way.